You Die Tonight (ideas from all my friends)
by virgo angel
Summary: Chapter three now up!! She's done parading, done toilet flushing, now......she's going down the sewer....
1. And everything starts

THE PARADE

Disclaimer; I dont own gundam wing or Relena (thank goodness) so dont sue me cuz I got no money to pay u. 

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! The scream can be heard way across town. * sound of a door slamming, then the sound of running footsteps * "OH fuck that damn bitch!!!" yelled Heero, panting, sweat covering his face. "Relena is chasing you again???" asked the deathscyth pilot, snorting with laughter. "shuddu hell up, at least she doesnt chase YOU!!!" _in fact, no girl chases YOU, your too good for them anyway _thought Heero secretly. "Hey, what do you mean by that, I got plenty of girls chasing me you kno¡K." Before Duo could finish, they heard an annoying, high pitched voice. "HEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOO, CCCCCCCCCCCOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEE AAAAAAAANNNNNNNDDDDD KKKKKKIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLL MMMEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! (listen Relena fans, I dont hate her, I just wrote it so it fits in the humor section, got it!) "AAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!" _* the door opened with a loud BANG, and at the door stands a girl covered in sweat, wearing a pair of sandals, a soft pink, very tight tube top, and a pair of hot pink mini skirt. * _ "Heero, here you are, Ive been looking for you all day long, why have you been running away?? Is it because you cant stand these clothes?? Well don worry Hee-chan, I will take them off right away¡K" said Relena, starting to pull off her skirt. *GULP * "Relena, stop that, I did rather having you with clothes on¡K" stuttered Heero, a picture of a naked Relena forming in his head, at that moment, he wanted to gag, BAD. "Whatever you say Hee-chan." Nodded Relena, moving closer to her beloved Heero. Finally, the silent Duo (yesss, for that while he was, hard to imagine huh??) jumped on to Relena, tackled her to the floor, and pulled a rope out of no where, and tied her up, TIGHTLY. Letting the ropes sank their "teeth" into the girls soft skin. "Fuck you girl, think you can move on to MY Hee-chan??? Think again, and by the way, NO ONE CALLS HIM HEE-CHAN CEPT FOR ME!!!!" Yelled an outrages Duo, pulling the rope tighter and tighter as he said each word. * Heero is on the floor, rolling with laughter at Relenas salt white face and at his kois determined and angry face. 

After the two boys locked Relena in a broom closet with plenty of mice and insects to accompany her, they discussed what they should do to her. "so, what do you think would be the worst torture for that bitch??" asked Duo, as he kissed Heeros lips gently . "Well one thing is for sure, neither of us wanted to touch HER anymore." confirmed Heero, kissing back. "You could read minds Hee-chan, you know what we should do, we should give her to a onna hater." As their eyes met each others, they said in unison, "Chang Wufei."

"You want me to do WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" came the surprise cry of Wufei. "We said that you are the best person to deal with Relena." Repeated Duo patiently (for once). "Why cant you do that, she doesnt come bothering ME you know¡K" replied Wufei. "Well see, neither of us wanted to touch her any longer (actually we never did), and besides, you could do whatever you want with her." Explained Heero. "OH, SO YOU WANT ME TO DO YOUR DIRTY WOR¡K¡K¡K.hey, did you say ANYTHING????" "Yep!" "You mean I could tie her hair to a horse and drag her around town than flung her into the sea, its okay???" said Wufei, not believing his ears. "Yeah, sure, you could do that!" said Duo, his eyes glistened, smiling at the thought of THAT. "DEAL!" "YYYYYEEEEAHHHHHHHH WU-MAN!!!!" "DONT CAAAAALLLL ME THATTTT YOU BAKA!!!!!" * whipps out a sword out of no where and chases Duo * "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" cried Duo, running for dear life. As for Heero, he was laughing his head off, yeah, again.

"Okay Relena, do as I say, first you will¡K¡K¡K" 

Sorry people, Im too tired to write alright, its 12:00 and I gotta sleep, please R&R, the fun part starts on the next few chapters, I PROMISE. OH, and please if you want, send in some ideas on how I should torture Relena, I will use them all, if I can, THX!!!!!!! 


	2. Relena Darlian Peacecraft running around...

Disclaimer: I dont own Gundam Wing and no one will, so if you want to sue someone, it wont be me.

"Okay you onna, lets see what you can do." Smirked Wufei, looking at the frightened girl. "Mmmph¡Kmmph¡K." Mumbled Relena with her mouth glued (yep, GLUED) shut. "Shut up, Im in charge of you and dont interrupt me." Said Wufei, giving her the "glare". "since youre so noisy, I suppose you would like noisy crowds, now, what should I do with you???? Should I tie you around a train track and let you die???? Nah, with you dead, there wont be any fun. How about mummifying you??? No good, you will still be dead. Hn, now I wish that baka is here, hes always full of ideas."

While Wufei is "talking to himself", Duo and Heero is having a er¡K "talk" with Trowa and Quatra. "You really gave Relena to Wufei???" asked the good hearted Quatra, too sincerely. "Yep, you know, I really wonder what hes gonna do to her???? It better be something public, or else that good for nothing woman hater * at Wufeis house, "AACHOO!!!, SOMEONE IS TALKING BEHIND MY BACK!!!" * * Sweatdrop from everyone (heehee, they got super hearings, actually, Wufeis house is right next to theirs) * "er.. anyways, as I was saying, that women hater is probably out of ideas, so I think it would be good to give him some¡K.." "I dont think he will accept ideas from you, Maxwell, even if he wanted them, his just too proud." Pointed out Trowa. "SHUDDUP!!!!!!!!" "Hn, people from america can hear you Duo-chan¡K" said you-know-who¡K "who is it???" *from everyone * *HEERO OF COURSE!!!! SHEESH!!!!! * "Yeah?? COOL!! HEY AMERICA, HOWS GOIN OLD BUDDY" yelled Duo, patting an imaginary shoulder, grinning his head off. *MAJOR sweatdrop * 

*Sound of wind blowing, then the sound of footsteps * "Whats this, the Valentines Day parade is looking for someone to fill up the empty space¡K Hmmm¡K" said Wufei, laughing to himself as he walked back to his house. "WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO????" screamed Relena. "I SAID STRIP, NOOOOW, DONT TELL ME YOURE DEAF AS WELL AS DUMB!!!!!" screamed Wufei back. "I WILL STRIP TO NO ONE BUT HEERO!!!!!!!!" said Relena. At the mention of Heero, she became all dreamy eyed again -. "If you wont do it, I will. And by the way you damn bitch, Heero doesnt like you, so face the facts, cuz thats the only thing this worlds got!!!!!" yelled Wufei, grabbing his sword and with three slices, all Relenas clothes came off (which isnt very much by the way). "AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WILL NEVER SEE ANOTHER PERSON AGAIN!!!!!!" screamed Relena in horror. _Well Relena, you will see A LOT of people tomorrow, A LOT!!!!! AND, they will definitely enjoy the show youre gonna give them. _Thought Wufei, laughing, out loud. "Whats so funny, you¡Kyou woman raper!!!!!" "Stop asking questions Sissy, or I will slice more than your clothes in half, and I dont think Heero want to look at THAT." At the thought of THAT, Relena shut up.

He roughly tied the rope around the bare skin to the wooden stick, seeing the girls in no physical pain, he pulled harder, and harder, and harder, until he heard the pain yell of a girl. Smiling to himself, he pulled even harder, he watched with satisfaction as the rope dug into her skin, inch by inch, until finally, it broke the armor of her skin and greedily sank their teeth into the flesh. By then, shes screaming, and kicking and yelling. _Hn, yelling woNt help you this time onna._

__

sounds of music playing, childrens excited cries, and er¡K sounds of couples smooching * Then suddenly, screams and yells can be heard, then it turned to laughter, LOTS OF LAUGHTER. As the views became clearer, the pilots (yeah, theyre at the Valentines Day parade, *hint * * hint *) saw a NAKED Relena tied TIGHTLY to a painted pink wooden stick, screaming. "Whoa, Wufeis outdone himself THIS time!!!!" cried Duo to Heero. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAAAAA" was Heeros only reply.

"First mission accomplished, second mission accepted." Said Wufei, grinning mischievously, planning his next move. 

YY MM CC AA!!!!! YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!! Two down and *** **sigh * more to go, like I said before, please send in more ideas, last time I didnt receive a thing about ideas, I donnt need them now, but I will need them soon¡K 


	3. The Toilet

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing and I never will, so please do not sue me.

The room is dark, and everything was quiet, except for the sound of Quatras whimper, because of the darkness of the room. Then suddenly, somehow, the lights came back on, it came on so suddenly, Quatra almost jumped out his pants. He quickly ran out of the washroom, WITHOUT HIS PANTS ON!!!!!! Leave a bunch of shits and other stuff in the toilet. _Whats his problem?? Im going in there to see what happened. _Thought Duo to himself, scratching his head. "AAAAAHHH, WHAT THE SHIIT!!!" BARRRF!!!!!!!!COUGH, SPIT, AND MORE COUGHING. _Sees Duo running out the washroom with out flushing the toilet he just gagged in. _

"Holy shit!! Quatra Raberba Winner!!!! I will get you for this, this SHIT you left in your UNFLUSHED toilet!!!!!" cried Duo hysterically. "Calm down Duo-kun. Its no big deal, its not his fault that his afraid of the dark." Murmured Heero. "Whatever, oh well, whoever goes in next is in for a BIIIIIIIIG surprise." Yelled Duo, again. "You know, you just gave me a GREAT idea Duo-kun." Grinned Heero, rather strangely. "OH REALLY, I WONDER WHAT THAT IS." Shouted Duo, throwing his hands above his head and walked away, leaving Heero looking a bit hurt, NOT.

__

Hmmm¡K perfect, he will surely enjoy this, nice and wet. He will definitely laugh, yes, for once, he will laugh at the idea, He smiled again, checking to make sure no one was there, then he added a little bit of himself to the STUFF. _Perfect, the potion is ready, now we just needed the specimen!! _He thought gleefully. 

"so, what do you think of the plan, is it good enough for her?" "Hn, of course, that bitch is probably not even worth all these effort, but since its already like this, I might as well top it up with something of MINE." He told the other pilot mischievously. "Help your self." _BAARRRFFF, sound of water(pee) splashing into the water, then a satisfied grunt came from the pilot. _"Relena, your gonna LUV it!!!"

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Relena screamed more then a little scared. "shuddu hell up you damn Bitch, Trowa, got the camera rolling?" asked Wufei, struggling to hold on the wiggling Relena. "Yeah¡K you ready?" "No¡Kot ex..exca..tly.." grunted Wufei throught clenched teeth. "Stop moving you good for nothing bitch!!!!!!" shouted Wufei, finally gave up trying to be soft to Relena, instead, he GRABBED her hair and didnt let go. "Watch it you baka¡K" glared Relena. SLAP, "watch what your saying, you just might get on my nerve!!" sneered Wufei, not even bothering to be polite to a woman NOW. "okay, everythings set, go!" instructed Trowa, then all the other three pilots head turned to face Wufei and the screaming Relena. 

He roughly shoved her head into the pile of shits (Quatras shit, duos gagged stuff, Wufeis gagged stuff and pee, and Heeros shits, peeeerrrfect), he watched as her hair swored in the water slowly, saw her head trying to lift up but not succeeding. Shes beginning to run out of air, the shits and barfs are swirling around her, brushing against her face and leaving marks behind, above her, the pilots watched with smirks on their faces. _Flush _went the toilet, her hair began to swirl faster and faster until they began to fall off handful by handful, finally, when all the flushing is over, empty gaps of where once were those brown hair has been. Finally, Wufei pulled her out of the mess, and saw that she had STUFF sticking onto her hair and dropped her into the water with a _plop, splash and water sucking into the noise and coughing, coughing and more coughing. Beep, _the camera stopped and all the pilots were on the floor, rolled with laughter and cursing themselves to stop cuz their stomach is hurting. *Snort, HAHAHAHAHAHA, SNORT SNORT, HAHAH, SNORT, HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH, OH FUCK¡K.SNORT, OH SHIT¡K HAHAHAHAHAHAH¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K¡K

Yeppie!!!!!!!!!! Im so happy about this chapter, just imagin that, a nearly bold Relena. Well, thanks to my friends, I got this chapter finished!!!!!!! R&R!!


	4. The Sewer (it's made into a seprate stor...

Disclaimer: I don¡¦t own Gundam Wing and I never will (how many times do I have to repeat this!!) SO DONNT SUE ME I BEG YOU!!!!!!

Anyway, on to the story.

¡§You mean I can go????¡¨ asked Relena, not believing her ears. ¡§Yes, now go before I change my mind!!¡¨ Wufei barked, pointing his finger at the door, then Duo sticked out his middle finger at Relena, sticking out his tongue at the same time. Relena, not wasting a second to get out of this dungeon, she took off to her limo, then she realized Heero locked Pagan in the broomcloset, so she had to walk. _Arrgh, I¡¦m the Queen Relena, AND I HAVE TO WALK!?!? _

SNORT, HAHAH, SNORT, HAHHAHAAA¡K the five pilots laughed uncontrollably. ¡§Haha¡Kshe thought we would let her go THIS easily?? Her brain must be really screwed..¡¨ laughed Duo again, rolling on the floor. ¡§The shits must have really got into her brain..¡¨ whispered Quatra, then went back laughing again, falling on to Trowa, who fell on to Wufei, who glared at them and said something about falling down is only for onnas (he didn¡¦t fall down), then went back laughing again. Then finally, Heero managed to stop laughing, ¡§Hey Trowa, still got space left in that tape, or is it being polluted by Relena??¡¨ ¡§Polluted? Asked Duo, finally being able stop laughing, ¡§I got a great ideal!! ¡§OH joy, Bakagami got an idea!¡¨ said Wufei sacarsticly . Ignoring Wufei, Duo continued. ¡§I think you * pointing at Heero * should give Relena a postcar¡K * whisper, whisper, and whisper about his plan * Everyone got it??¡¦ Everyone, even Wufei, nodded, grinning like idiots.

__

Dearest Relena:

I apologize for all the things I (we) did to you, and I really want to make it ALL up to you, so I would like to meet you at the woods with is connected to the sewer (please don¡¦t mind the smell, but your heavenly scent will fill my nose). And we got there, all alone, I¡¦m going to do something to you, that when we¡¦re through, you would want to do it again. I won¡¦t leave until you come, so please, come my beautiful angel, I will be waiting. 

Heero

The four other pilots grinned when they finished reading the ¡§letter¡¨ to his ¡§dear¡¨ ¡§angel¡¨ Relena. However, Duo clenching his teeth and he glared at Heero for writing such things he never wrote to him, and he told him that. ¡§Aww, Duo-kun, my love for you can not be described by such simple as words, besides, I was thinking of you when I wrote this.¡¨ ¡§Aw, Hee-kun..¡¨ as Duo said that, he put his arms around Heero¡¦s waist and they walked to their room, leaning on each other as they walked. 

In the Peacecraft mansion, a shrill scream was heard. ¡§OH MY GOD, then returning to her normal voice, Relena whispered to practically no one, ¡§oh Heero¡K I have been waiting too.¡¨

¡§Relena, Whispered Heero, to Relena, holding her shoulders, his lips coming closer and closer to hers. ¡§Heero.. Whispered Relena, moving closer, and faster. _Uh-oh, better act fast, or I really have to do a mouth to mouth with her, man, she probably has bad breath. Duo, when I¡¦m through with you tonight, your gonna have a very sore ass. _Thought Heero. Getting ready for the ¡§move¡¨. Leaning even closer, Heero whispered ¡§romantically¡¨ ¡§Relena, I¡KI¡K wo bu ai ni (yeah, Wufei taught him that, it means I donnt love you in Chinese). Then gave her a strong push, and saw her falling down, and down, then finally, after the long fall, they heard a big _SPLASH_, then saw her hand reaching up for help, while ¡§happily¡¨ drinking in the sewer water. Finally, after a few seconds, she didnnt come back up again. ¡§Hey, got that in the camera??¡¨¡¨Yep!¡¨

__

at the funniest video contest ¡§and the winner of the million dollars is Heero Yuy!!!¡¨ _CHEERS FROM ALL THE PILOTS. ¡§I aint sharing this money¡¨ said Heero selfishly (no offense). The pilots yelling angrily, chased after him, each waving their own weapons. Trowa knifes, Duo a scythe, Wufei his karata, and Quatra?? The most expensive laser gun!!!!!! _

Ah!!!!!!!!! Like it????? it actually the last chapter for The Parade, check it out, it has more funny things happening ot Relena, like being paraded naked and stuff like that¡K¡K


End file.
